The Imposter Syndrome: confidence in leadership

A few weeks after the evaluation, she had a discussion with her boss about resigning, since she felt she could not improve on her team-leading and delegation skills. She felt she had disappointed her boss. Her boss said the situation was not that bad. He suggested an executive coaching session with me.

Our first conversation went as follows:

``Khun Kriengsak, I can't delegate work to my team.''

``Why is that, Khun Suda?''

``They already have a heavy workload.''

``Why do they have a heavy workload?''

``Because our sales target is very aggressive.''

``How realistic is your target?''

``It's challenging but possible. But they have to smarten up.''

``All of them or just some?''

``Not all of them. In fact, only two of the six sales staff have a problem. One is just new to the job. I think I need to spend time coaching him. But the other one, Khun Sunee, is even more experienced than me. She just doesn't want to change the way she works.''

``Did you explain this to Sunee?''

``Yes, I did. She argued with me. I didn't want to argue, so I stopped.''

``Why?''

``Um, I don't like confrontation.''

``Khun Suda, I understand. It's not easy for some people. Several senior executives are in the same situation as you. Let's say, if you had to explain it to her, would you have a rationale that you could use to convince her?''

``I would,'' she says, and explains it.

``It sounds sensible. Why didn't you explain to her?''

``I wasn't confident.''

``Because?''

``I think that she has more experience than me. It might have been luck that got me this position. I'm not sure that I deserve to be her boss. Particularly when she looks at me, I'm afraid she'll find out that I'm not a competent boss.''

``Khun Suda, let me share with you what I learned from http://www.inc.com/magazine/20060901/handson-leadership.html. This feeling of self-doubt is an example of the `impostor syndrome', a term coined in the 1970s to describe the fear that one is not as smart or capable as others think. People who feel like fakes put their accomplishments down to external factors such as luck and timing, or worry they are coasting on charm and personality rather than talent. Research conducted in the early 1980s estimated that two out of five successful people considered themselves frauds. Other studies have found that 70% of people feel like fakes at one time or another.''

``Is that right? I thought it was only me. What should I do?''

``I will assign an exercise for you. Next week, we will meet again. I want you to prepare your 100 achievements list.''

``What is that?''

``It's a list of 100 things you have achieved in your life.''

With a worried face she says, ``100 things, I'm not sure I can do that.''

``You have to. You can list from any easy task, like learning to walk, talk etc.''

After one week, we met again. This time, she looked more self-confident.

``Khun Suda, How are you?''

``I'm good, Khun Kriengsak.''

``Why don't you show me the list?''

She gave it to me. She said, ``I finished it yesterday. To my surprise, more than 50 items happened during the past 12 months at this company.''

``How do you feel?''

``I feel more self-confident now. In fact, I have contributed a lot to my team.''

``Good. Are you confident to explain your new method of work to Khun Sunee.''

``I'm not sure.''

``Let's do role-playing. I will be Khun Sunee. I will be stubborn and nasty.''

Suda starts: ``Khun Sunee, I would like to explain a new method of paperwork to you,'' she starts. But before she finishes her part, I act aggressively as Khun Sunee by interrupting. ``I don't have time. You see, I'm very busy with the unrealistic target you gave me.'' I stand up and prepare to walk away.

Suda says, ``Okay, okay.''

I say. ``Cut! Cut! Suda, we're role-playing to practise difficult conversations. Usually, what would be the response from a professional manager?''

``Normally, the boss would say, `Sunee, this is important. I need you for 10 minutes. Leave other things for now'.''

``Why didn't you say so?'' I replied as Sunee. We practise more similar scenarios until she gains more confidence.

Kriengsak Niratpattanasai is the founder of TheCoach, specialising in executive coaching in leadership and cross-cultural skills. Copies of previous columns are available at www.thaicoach.com. He can be reached at 02-517-3126 or coachkriengsak@yahoo.com